Wednesday, October 31, 2012

What if I never had diabetes?

I often wonder what my life would be like, if I never had diabetes. Would I have more fun with my friends? Right now, when I hang out with my friends, I am constantly worried about my blood sugar. When I am with my friends, we do a lot of EATING! The more I eat, the more my blood sugar goes up. Would I have more fun if I never had to worry about any of that? I think I probably would. If I never had diabetes, would I be more comfortable in my body? Since I have been diagnosed, I have gotten alot of scars from needles. They are not cute! I have also gained a lot of weight. If I was never diagnosed, would I have ever gained all that weight? I would probably have more confidence when I got dressed in the morning. I would be more comfortable in tight fitting clothes because 1. I wouldn't be so fat and 2. I wouldn't have to worry about if my POD was noticeable or not (I'll post of pic of the POD at the end). If I never had diabetes, would I have as much stress in my life? Probably not. I wouldn't have to constantly worry what my blood sugar was. I wouldn't ever have to worry if I had enough insulin or not. I'd never have to worry if I remembered my glucometer when I went out somewhere for a day. I would never have to worry if I had snacks with me. I would probably have more confidence when I applied for a job or when I got a new job. Right now, I worry about if my boss or coworkers will be understanding if I have to sit down because my blood sugar is low or even high. If I never had diabetes, I feel like my life would be so much easier. I'm not trying to feel bad for myself but this is my reality. This is how my life is. Having diabetes isn't just about taking shots and watching your blood sugar. There is so much more that comes along with it that no one realizes.
This is a POD. It holds insulin and it is big and bulky.
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1 comment:

  1. PamNovember 13, 2012 at 9:33 AM

    I read this the day you posted it, but it has taken me two weeks to post a comment. I really had to think about how I feel and what I wanted to say.

    I have had days that I wished you weren't diabetic, like the time you were going to the Christmas dance and we couldn't figure out where to put your insulin pump so we tried duct taping it to your leg in a ziploc bag. Or the days that you've been so sick that you end up in the hospital. When you go hang out with your friends, I often wish you could "not be diabetic" for a few hours or for the day, and live life carefree like the rest of the teenagers, without needles, insulin, ketostix, and glucometers.

    But I am thankful for what diabetes has given you. Diabetes has made you fiercely independent and open minded. You have an incredible strength that most people your age will never have. You have learned responsibility the hard way, but it's an important life lesson. You have learned that life isn't always easy, and there will be bad days, but good days will follow.

    You have learned that you mean the world to your family, no matter how bad your day is. The most important thing that you've learned is empathy. You have that incredible soft spot in your heart for anyone who is in pain, either physically or emotionally. You have a deep sense of wanting to ease the pain and make their life easier or happier. If you walked into a room of babies, you would want to hold the one that is crying and dry his tears. You see how poorly other people have treated you or someone else, and you vow to never treat anyone else the same way. You want to make a difference in this world and in someone else's life. If everyone had this amount of empathy, this would be a much better world.

    So yes, I have days that I wish you could take a vacation from diabetes, but I will be forever grateful for the things that diabetes has taught you.

    I love you lots!!

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