The things they don't tell you...

Being diagnosed with diabetes when I was 11 years old was very hard. I got my treatment and education for diabetes at AI Dupont Hospital in Wilmington, DE. Everyone there did a great job helping me transition from a "normal" life, to diabetic life. As I have gotten older, I have come to realize that there are some things they DID NOT tell me and some things that misled me.
When I was getting my training with the diabetes educators, they taught me how to count carbs. They did not tell me that sometimes, no matter how accurate you are at carb counting, some foods will still make your blood sugar spike. For example, when I eat pizza and pasta I am pretty good at figuring out how many carbs is them, but within an hour my blood sugar rises higher than normal. 
When I was discharged from the hospital, they told me I could have a 15 grams of carbs "free" snack. Which meant, I could eat something that wasn't more than 15 grams of carbs and I didn't have to give myself insulin for it. Looking back on that, it makes no sense as to why I could that! You would be surprised by how much 15 grams of carbs raises your blood sugar.
 I was misled to think that I could eat whatever I wanted, when I wanted. I guess that is true but if I don't want my blood sugar to go through the roof, I really have to watch what I eat and make sure I count carbs as accurately as possible. For example, at parties there is usually a lot of delicious food and everyone snacks on everything. I have found that I can't do that without my blood sugar going through the roof. Even if I give myself insulin, my blood sugar still is high. I eventually lose track of what I eat or my insulin can't keep up with my constant snacking.
 The major thing they didn't tell me was that insulin makes you gain weight. The more insulin you get, the more weight you are going to gain. When I was younger, I got about 50-60 units of insulin a day. Now, I get about 80-100 units a day. That is A lot of insulin being used and I have gained a lot of weight (40 lbs. in two years). The last few weeks or so I have cut my insulin down to about 65-80 units a day and I have lost some weight since this started. It's not a lot of weight but it's enough that I noticed! I watch to see how many grams of carbs I am eating, because the more carbs I get the more insulin I get.
I'm sure that there are a few other things that I could think of that the diabetes educators did not tell me or misled me about. If I think of them I will write another post!

Can I tear out my Pancreas?!

I really wish I cold tear out my pancreas! My blood sugars are never stable and I really don't have any hope that they will be. For about the last week my blood sugars have been going low several times a day. I haven't had much of an appetite so I haven't been eating as much so I think that probably has something to do with it. But usually my blood sugars are higher than they are suppose to be. Now, when I get my blood sugar to a normal level, they drop again. It's like I can't ever win. There is never a happy medium when it comes to having diabetes. Atleast not for me anyway. I need to call my endocronologist but I know as soon as he changes my basal rates and all that good stuff, I will be running high again. So, would I rather have high blood sugars or low blood sugars?
Diabetes interferes with EVERYTHING in my life. Last night at work, I got in trouble because I went on break before I was told to. No, I didn't ask to go on break but my blood sugar was low anyway so I didn't have much of a choice.
Before I started having a lot of lows, I would wake up in the morning feeling good and I would have energy when I got out of bed. But now, I have no energy and I am finding it very hard to get out of bed every morning. I don't really have much energy during the day either. I just want to sleep. This crap has been pissing me off a lot lately. I do not want to have diabetes anymore!

Dangerously low blood sugar today!

Today, I figured out just how important my Dexcom Continuous Glucose Monitor really is. The sensors usually last for 7 days before you have to change them. My 7 days was up last night. I didn't put another one on because it takes 2 hours to get it to start reading and I honestly did not feel like waiting 2 hours. I was ready for bed! This morning, I put a new sensor back on. I went about my day cleaning, etc. while I waited for that 2 hour window to be gone. I got really tired all of a sudden but I didn't think anything of it. Other than being tired I felt fine. I was sitting at my computer and I started to feel a little shakey. I didn't feel horrible so I just thought my blood sugar was about 60-70..that's not too low for me. I check my blood sugar and surprisingly my blood sugar was a dangerous 32! This really got me thinking about how important my CGM is to me. Usually, my CGM will alert me when I go below 70. Even when my CGM is reading in the 50's or lower, I don't really feel it. I don't really feel shakey or like something is wrong. So, this kind of scares me a little bit. My blood sugar was 32 and I didn't really feel weird at all. This is dangerous. Without my CGM, how many times would I have gone that low or how many times would I be in the ER because I passed out because of this?
I think I have what's called hypoglycemia unawareness. Hypoglycemia unawareness is when a diabetic doesn't have the usual warning symptoms of low blood sugar. Pretty scarey..
Below is a link explaining Hypoglycemia Unawareness.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hypoglycemia-unawareness/MY01835

Ah! Ketones!

Yay ketones!!!...not. I feel like crap! My blood sugars have been running normal so I'm not sure why I have ketones. For those who don't know, that dark square is supposed to be tan and It's dark purple..not good :(