I am drawing a blank!

I have been drawing a blank lately about what to write about! I know there has got to be A LOT more to say about diabetes but I can't think of anything! I need some ideas!

Diabetes and Bipolar

I have been a diabetic for almost 8 years. Hard to believe! Even after all this time living with diabetes, I still learn knew stuff about it, or learn about new ways to control my blood sugar. Just when I think I know it all, I learn something else!
I think I was a freshman in high school when I started seeing a counselor. At that point, I had been a diabetic for about 3 years. I was having terrible mood swings, and depression. I was a mess! After going to the counselor, she started to think that I was bipolar. I thought she was crazy! A lot of the time, when someone thinks about bippolar, they often think psychotic and dangerous..maybe other people didn't think that way but I did!
Here I am, 5 years later, and my moods are worse than ever! I recently started going to a different counselor, and I love her! When I started seeing her, she also said that it sounded like I had a form of bipolar. ( Some forms of bipolar, are more severe than others.) She then explained to me that, because my blood sugars are so uneven right now, it can mess with my moods. So now, the question is, "Where do I go from here?" I need to go see a psychiatrist so I can get my depression medicine evaluated or get a different medicine or something! The problem is no one takes my insurance!
While I have been waiting to see a doctor, I have been doing some research. I have found out that people with bipolar disorder, are 3 times more likely to have diabetes than other people in the population. My mom said that a site she was on said that they aren't sure if diabetes causes bipolar, or if bipolar causes diabetes. Either way, they are definitely related! I also read somewhere that some antidepressants, can increase the severity of your bipolar disorder. Prozac, the medicine I'm on, is one of those antidepressants!
After reading that, it is obvious to me that a lot of doctors still don't know how to treat bipolar disorder! The doctor knew that I was showing signs of bipolar disorder, but then put me on a medicine that could make it worse! It makes no sense to me! Not only that, but I don't think doctors know the relation between bipolar disorder and diabetes. So, when a Psychiatrist gets a patient that is a diabetic and also showing signs of having bipolar disorder, they don't treat the bipolar because they assume the mood swings, etc. are from unstable blood sugars.
Living with diabetes is one thing. But then knowing you have another problem because of your diabetes is another. Having diabetes sucks! But some days, I think dealing with the bipolar or whatever it is, is worse! Going from a lot of energy and not being able to sleep, to irritable and severely depressed and tired in a matter of hours, sometimes even minutes, is very difficult to deal with. If someone you know is living with diabetes, depression, bipolar, etc., make sure they know you care and give them as much support as you can even though some days, you won't be able to do a thing for them. Diabetes is a never ending cycle. If it's not your blood sugar, it's something else. http://ezinearticles.com/?Bipolar-Disorder-and-Diabetes---Whats-the-Connection?&id=4600063

My Struggle with DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis) and Alcohol

Diabetic Ketoacidosis is a life threatening condition that diabetics get when they don't get enough insulin. It is most common in Type 1 diabetics but occasionally happens in Type 2 diabetics. Severe cases of DKA, can result in death. Below is a link from wikipedia. It explains DKA better than I can!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diabetic_Ketoacidosis

As a diabetic, I have been told to not drink alcohol at all. I was told, "You will die if you drink alcohol." I am very stubborn, so of course I did not listen. I saw other people with diabetes drink and they never got sick or anything. So, through high school, I would drink a beer here and there. I never got drunk, just had an occasional beer with friends. Nothing happened to me. I never got sick or anything. My blood sugar went up a little bit but nothing a little insulin couldn't fix.
I think I was a junior in high school. A friend and I were invited to a party. I had never been to an actual party, so I was excited and of course I went. I hate the taste of beer. I guess that's why I never drank much of it. So, that night, I was drinking Mountain Dew and Malibu. Each one of those drinks, was loaded with sugar! I did my best to bolus (give myself insulin through my insulin pump) and check my sugar frequently. Well, after a couple of those drinks, I was completely trashed. After awhile, I was not in my right mind to check my blood sugar or give myself insulin. I ended up throwing up that night, and passing out on someone's couch. (not one of my proudest moments)
The next morning when I woke up, I didn't feel terrible but of course I didn't feel great either. My friend and I ended up going back to her house and falling asleep. Before I even fell asleep, I was throwing up. I thought to myself, "I will go to sleep and wake up feeling better. I'm just hung over." I threw up about once every 30 minutes for about 2 hours. Then, it got to the point where I couldn't even keep gatorade or water down. The minute anything got in my stomach, I was throwing up. On top of that, my blood was almost 500. My gut feeling was telling me something was wrong.
Before I tell the rest of the story, let me just say me and my Mom had an arguement the night before about what time I was to be home that night, and about how I was not staying the night anywhere that night. Of course, the hard headed person I am, argued with her and eventually she let me stay at my friends house that night...but we never made it to my friends house that night because we were both drunk. So, before I go any further, my mom knew what was going to happen that night and she wanted me to be home at a certain time. But like most parents of teenagers, she gave in and let me do what I want.
Anyway, when my gut feeling was telling me something was wrong, I knew I had to call my mom. I was so scared she was going to be mad but I knew I was really sick. Surprisingly, she wasn't mad when I called her. She was concerned but not mad. She immediately told me to get to the hospital. My friend took me to the ER and my Mom met us there. I couldn't even go the 10 minute drive without throwing up. By the time I got to the hospital, I was so sick. Every inch of my body was in pain. The doctor gave me some medicine for the nausea and that pain. At first, the medicine wasn't enough to keep me from throwing up so I was given more. I threw up so much that morning, that I was just gagging. Nothing was coming out of my stomach anymore.
I was admitted to the Critical Care Unit. I'm not sure if I was drugged up, sick or both, but I couldn't stay awake long enough to have a conversation with anyone. I was in the hospital for a night before they released me. The doctor wanted me to stay in there longer because my pulse was still high but I refused.
Thinking back on those few days, I feel so incredibly guilty. I almost died. I put my parents and myself through a lot of pain that was not nececssary. I should have listened to my Mom when she told me to come home that night but I didn't. I still drink occasionally (yes, even though I'm not 21. But that's not the point). When I do drink, I check my blood sugar OFTEN. I give myslef extra insulin just to be on the safe side. Since then, I have not gotten trashed. Even drinking just one drink now, scares me. If my blood sugar reaches 300 or even 250 while I am drinking, I immediatley stop. I don't care if I just poured a drink. Someone else can drink it or I will pour out.
Going through that experience made me realize how serious DKA really is. Since then, when I get ketones or my blood sugar is high, I take care of it immediately or try to anyway. Sometimes, I still end up in the ER. But since that day, I have never been that sick again. I'm not saying that it won't happen again, but I know that if there is a next time, it will not be my fault.

Eating Disorder: Diabulimia

A lot of young people (mostly girls) suffer from eating disorders. One eating disorder imparticular is never talked about and hardly ever heard of. It's called Diabulimia. Diabulimia is an eating disorder that some diabetics go through. Diabulimics will keep their blood sugar levels high and not take their insulin so they can lose weight. It is extremely dangerous! It will send diabetics into DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis). DKA makes you very sick! If you get DKA, you can end up in a coma or even die. Diabulimia is just like any other eating disorder. It's serious, it's a problem, and it shouldn't go untreated! I am going to post a link below. A teenage girl tells her story about living with Diabulimia and how close she came, muliple times, to almost losing her life.
http://www.healthcentral.com/diabeteens/c/71576/18873/story

Insulin pump VS shots

Being a diabetic, I know there are different treatment options. You can choose from insulin shots, or an insulin pump. When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I was on shots for about a year before I got an insulin pump. I wanted an insulin pump because I thought my blood sugars would be better controlled and I wouldn't have to stick myself with needles several times a day. I also thought it would better because because I wouldn't have to carry around needles and insulin all the time or find somewhere I could go so I could give myself a shot when I was out in public.

After being on the insulin pump for a little while, I didn't really see a difference in my blood sugars. Not having to carry around needles and insulin was good but having an insulin pump had it's own issues. I had to carry around extra supplies and extra insulin in case the tubing ripped out of my skin. When I wore a dress, I had no where to put it. With jeans, I stuck in my pocket or between my pants and hip and it would stay there. When I was in gym class, I had a problem with the pump getting in my way. I would run and it would fall out from under my shorts and wrip out of my skin or it would just hang there. It was such a pain in the butt! At night, I had a hard time finding a place to put the pump when I was asleep. I usually put in next to me on the bed but then sometimes the cord would get hung up in my sheets. It was a mess! I always had to make sure the tubing was tucked in my pants or it would get wrapped around door knobs, etc. and rip the tubing out of my skin.

A few years went by when I heard about the omnipod. It's a different kind of insulin pump. There is no cord to get wrapped around anything, and I don't have to keep the remote part of it on me. I can leave the remote in the house if I want to be outside all day and I will still get my basal. Now, I'm finding some problems with it. First, the pod (where the insulin is located) is bulky and you can see it under my shirt. I have had a lot of times when the canula rips out of my skin. I can't put it on my legs (same with the other insulin pump I talked about) because my jeans get caught on it and it rips off. Once you fill a pod with insulin, it's almost impossible to get it back out. So, if the pod rips off my body or starts leaking, that's a waste of insulin. There is no getting the insulin out to put it in a new pod! Lately, I have had a lot of problems with "pod errors" or my pods will leak some how even if the canula is still in my skin. So, that's more insulin and more pods that are being wasted.

With that being said, I'm having a hard time deciding which treatment would be best for me now! Each one has it's ups and downs and that is never going to change. I went from shots to the pump because I thought it would make my life easier. I went from the pump to the omnipod because I thought it would make my life easier. But now, I have come to realize that it doesn't matter what I do, it's all going to be a pain in the ass! (excuse my language)

If you are a diabetic trying to figure out if you would rather take shots or get an insulin shot please read this. Take all this into consideration but in the end it's all about what's better for you. You may have a better experience with these options then I have had. You may even find some ways around these problems. I guess you just have try each one to know what works for you.

Diabetes causes other health problems!

When someone is diagnosed with diabetes, you think, "I just have to worry about insulin, counting carbs, etc. for the rest of my life. That's all." NO! That's not all! When you become a diabetic, you have a higher risk of getting a lot of other medical problems too. And your risks are even higher when you don't take care of your diabetes! We are at risk for gum disease, kidney damage, heart disease, neuropathy, retinopathy, stroke, yeast infections (females) and much more. So, many diabetics like myself have a lot of different doctors and it gets expensive and annoying! I have an Endocronologist, Opthomologist, Dentist, Neurologist, Psychiatrist and I use to see an Allergist. That is a lot of frickin doctors! When one becomes a diabetic, you may think they only have that one health problem to worry about but over the years many more problems are going to come along.

I have what's called Granuloma Annulare. It's a skin condition that, of course, diabetics are more at risk for. (I didn't kow that until I was diagnosed with it.) I have these bruise like spots on my legs and feet. Some of the spots even look like ring worm. It's really unattractive and they won't go away!

When I was a freshman in high school, I started getting migraines. My dad had them when he was younger so it runs in my family. I have never been told that diabetes and migraines are related but I'm pretty sure they are. When my blood sugar is high, I get headaches. Some are more severe than others. But I also get bad headaches when my blood sugar is in the normal range.  I have a friend that is diabetic and she said she has a hard time with migraines as well. It really wouldn't surprise me if diabetes and migraines are related.
 
I also have some psychiatric problems. I hate that word (psychiatric) because when someone sees that word they automatically think crazy person! I have been diagnosed with depression and have been told I have signs of a disorder called bipolar 2 (less severe than bipolar 1). I have days it's hard for me to function and I have mood swings often. The depression and mood swings are difficult to treat because blood sugars have a huge affect on a person's mood. When your blood sugar is in a normal range, you can be in a good mood. But when they spike or drop, you can become irritable. If your blood sugars are up and down a lot during a day, that can make you have mood swings and affect how you are feeling mentally. 

Living with diabetes isn't just about living with diabetes by itself. There are many other difficulties that come a long with it and these are just a few of them. I have shared some pretty personal stuff but I did because I hope that I can help atleast one person know they are not alone and are not the only person going through all this.

Diabetes tattoo, Medical Alert

I am really considering getting this tattoo. My medical alert bracelet falls off and gets in the way when I'm working so I don't even wear it. It's a good idea to have some sort of information on you at all times to tell people that you're diabetic in case something ever happens!

Venting, diabetes, Gaining Weight

So, today I need to do a little venting! Being a diabetic sucks! There is not a nice way to put it! Most diabetics gain a lot of weight or have trouble keeping their weight under control. I am one of them! As a girl, appearance is a huge part of my self esteem and right now my self esteem is horrible!! In the last 2 years, I have gained about 40+ pounds! I am embarassed to admit it but a lot of diabetics will go through it. I am getting between 50-80 units (sometimes more) of insulin a day! The more insulin I get, the more fat I store in my body! So, the smart thing to do would be to eat less so I don't get as much insulin, right? WRONG! Right now my blood sugars will shoot up to 300 or higher causing me to need more insulin. It doesn't matter if I eat or not. If my blood sugar is over 180, I'm getting extra insulin which means extra fat!!! It's so frustrating! I work out, and try to eat right but it doesn't seem to do anything!
This website explains how insulin stores fat, better than I can!
http://fitnessblackbook.com/dieting_for_fat_loss/insulin-and-fat-loss-a-simple-explanation/

Dexcom Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM)

For awhile now, my blood sugars have been up and down. Some days I will have readings as low as 39 but then later they will be as high as 500! (All in one day!) When your blood sugar goes from one extreme to the next, it takes up A LOT of your engergy! Over a year ago, I got the Medtronic Continuous Glucose Monitor. I hated it! I would have to use 5 pounds of tape to get it to stick to my skin! My blood sugars were not reading accurately at all. On the CGM, my blood sugar would read in the high 100's but when I did a finger stick, my blood sugar was really in the 50's. One of the main reasons for getting the CGM was so I could catch my low blood sugars faster before they went dangerously low! Obviously, that wasn't happening! When I wore the sensor, I was getting alarms several times a day and during the night! If I laid on it wrong when I was sleeping, it would beep because it couldn't get a blood sugar reading. It was such a pain and it was annoying! Eventually, I just stopped wearing it all together. It wasn't doing me any good anyway. A few months back I heard of another CGM that was made by Dexcom. I had heard that it was a lot better than the one made by Medtronic. When I went to my Diabetes Educator, I asked about it. She told me that she used the Dexcom CGM and loved it!  (Diabetes Educator is also diabetic) I have now been using the Dexcom CGM for almost a week and I already like it better than the Medtronic CGM. The only alarms I get with this CGM, is when my blood sugar goes above 300 or below 70. I find that very helpful without it being annoying! With the new CGM, I can track how much insulin I get at a certain time, and exercise! When I download my blood sugars off of the CGM, all of the information I entered will be downloaded too! If any diabetic is having problems with low blood sugars, high blood sugars, or having a lot of "up and down" blood sugar days, I would highly reccomend this product!
Below is a link to the Dexcom website.
http://www.dexcom.com/

This is what the medtronic sensor looks like. The white piece (transmitter) does not stick to your skin so a lot of tape is needed to keep it in place!

This is the dexcom sensor. No tape needed. The tape is already attached to it.

My Story

     Hi, my name is Katie and I'm 19 years old. When I was 11, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Over the years, I have come to realize that there are no support groups or anything for teenagers or young adults who have diabetes. That is why I wanted to make a blog. I want other young adults and teens, that are living with this disease, to know they are not alone. I also want the people that don't have diabetes, to have a better understanding of what it's like to live with it and how difficult it is.

My Story:
I was in 5th grade when I started getting sick. I was about 5'5'' and weighed about 84 pounds. I was absolutely sick looking. I was always thirsty and it didn't matter how much I drank. I was still thirsty. I had headaches every day and I was even peeing the bed in the middle of the night. Even through all that, my parents and I never thought anything was wrong. During summer vacation I was still having the same symptoms but never thought anything of it. That year I started middle school. I was going to the bathroom several times during one class and I constantly needed a drink of water. In October, we had a surprise party for my Dad's 40th birthday. I was drinking  A LOT of soda that night because I was so thirsty. I drank so much I felt sick to my stomach. I finally went to my Mom and told her I wanted to go to the doctor because I thought something was wrong. We scheduled an appointment for later that week. When I went to the doctor, they checked my blood sugar. My blood sugar was so high it wouldn't read on the glucometer. I was terrified. I was immediately put in the hospital. After one night in the local hospital, I was taken to A.I. Dupont Hospital in Wilmington, Delaware. During my stay, I was taught how to check my blood sugar, how to count carbs, how to give myself shots, etc. Looking back now, I would never have thought my life would be like this. I never imagined taking care of my health would be this hard or time consuming. Diabetes does not keep me from doing what I want. I just have to be extra careful with some things I do. I would never wish this on anyone but I would like to help other people that deal with this same disease.