What if I never had diabetes?

I often wonder what my life would be like, if I never had diabetes. Would I have more fun with my friends? Right now, when I hang out with my friends, I am constantly worried about my blood sugar. When I am with my friends, we do a lot of EATING! The more I eat, the more my blood sugar goes up. Would I have more fun if I never had to worry about any of that? I think I probably would. If I never had diabetes, would I be more comfortable in my body? Since I have been diagnosed, I have gotten alot of scars from needles. They are not cute! I have also gained a lot of weight. If I was never diagnosed, would I have ever gained all that weight? I would probably have more confidence when I got dressed in the morning. I would be more comfortable in tight fitting clothes because 1. I wouldn't be so fat and 2. I wouldn't have to worry about if my POD was noticeable or not (I'll post of pic of the POD at the end). If I never had diabetes, would I have as much stress in my life? Probably not. I wouldn't have to constantly worry what my blood sugar was. I wouldn't ever have to worry if I had enough insulin or not. I'd never have to worry if I remembered my glucometer when I went out somewhere for a day. I would never have to worry if I had snacks with me. I would probably have more confidence when I applied for a job or when I got a new job. Right now, I worry about if my boss or coworkers will be understanding if I have to sit down because my blood sugar is low or even high. If I never had diabetes, I feel like my life would be so much easier. I'm not trying to feel bad for myself but this is my reality. This is how my life is. Having diabetes isn't just about taking shots and watching your blood sugar. There is so much more that comes along with it that no one realizes.
This is a POD. It holds insulin and it is big and bulky.
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Diabetes, A1C

Ever since the day I was diagnosed with diabetes, I have been told that my A1C should be in the 7.0-8.0 range. Very rarely, has my A1C been below 8.0. I feel like no matter how hard I try to keep my blood sugars under control, they just aren't! Now, that I'm an adult, I am being told that my A1C should be in the 6.0 range. How am I suppose to do that?! That would be great if I could get my A1C to be that low but it feels impossible. I have been watching my blood sugars on my CGM (continuous glucose monitor), hoping that will help but it doesn't really seem to be doing much. I'm hoping it will just take time. Today, my blood sugar was never below 200. I was giving myself insulin every time I ate and every time I saw my blood sugar was high...nothing helped. I was even pretty active today which usually makes my blood sugar drop! I know that if I don't get this under control, I am going to have complications later in life. But what am I suppose to do when I feel like I have done everything I can??? It would be so easy to just give up, but at the same time it will be easy for me to get extremely sick...I am feeling like I am in a lose, lose situation.

http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/treatment-and-care/blood-glucose-control/a1c/

Helping other diabetics..

When I started this blog, my goal was to hopefully help other diabetics. I want other people that other living with this horrible disease, to know that they are not alone. Many people live with this disease.
I was beginning to think, that writing about diabetes wasn't helping anyone. Not many people comment on my posts. The other night, I got a message on Facebook from a girl who is also living with diabetes. She told me how much she appreciated my blog. That message made it all worth it. Because of her, I will do my best to continue writing about diabetes. I want to continue to write about my daily struggles and other people's struggles. I'm hoping my blog will help more people!

Insulin Pump, Snacking, Diabetes

These days, diabetics are told they can eat whatever they want. Years ago, it didn't use to be like that. Whenever we eat, we have to give ourselves insulin (either through a shot or an insulin pump). At dinner, we have to take give insulin. Then, five minutes later if we want a piece of cake, we have to give ourself more insulin. The doctors and diabetes educators tell us that is ok...and I guess it is ok. But what they don't tell you is that if you snack on junk all day (and we all do it!), then your blood sugar is going to constantly be high. Carbs and sugar get "soaked up" in your body faster than insulin does. The food will be in your system almost immediately but insulin takes TWO HOURS to completely work! Let's say you are at a party. When you arrive, you get a glass of punch and eat dinner. You give yourself insulin for all that you ate. An hour later, you decide to visit the snack table. You give yourself insulin but your body hasn't had time to process the insulin from dinner so your blood sugar is already going to be slightly high. Then, 2 hours after you had dinner, you decide to get a piece of cake. Your body has processed the insulin from dinner but is still processing the insulin you took to cover all your snacks so your blood sugar is still high. If you go through that cycle several times in a day, your blood sugar is never going to be in the normal range.
This weekend I went on vacation to New Jersey. When anyone goes on vacation, they eat! I ate so much stuff! I went on the boardwalk and I got fried pickles, fried cookie dough, cheesesteak, etc. My body didn't have any time to process the insulin before I was shoving something else in my mouth! Of course, my blood sugar was high the whole time! I'm not sure if I explained this right or if it makes sense at all but my point is no matter what the doctors tell you, you still have to watch what you eat!

Diabetes, Exercise, Hypoglycemia (Low Blood sugar)

One of the things diabetics are told, is to exercise! It will help you to have better control over your blood sugars...that's what I'm told anyway! I have been trying to go to the gym several times a week. It really helps to bring my blood sugar down when it is high and that's great! But it ALWAYS brings it down too much! I feel like no matter what I do, I'm losing. My blood sugar won't ever  be in the normal range. It will be too high or too low! UGH! It's a never ending cycle. I check my blood sugar before I work out. If it's even 200, it will drop and it will drop quickly!!! I have tried eating a snack before I work out or drinking some juice..it still drops! I have tried eating protein before I work out, and it does nothing to help. I have even turned off my basal rate so I'm not getting any insulin while I work out! I still go low! What is the frickin point of working out, if I'm just going to have to eat a lot of carbs and sugar! If I eat a lot before I work out, I feel sick. If I eat after I work out, why did I even bother going to the gym because I just put all those calories back in my body! Exercising is suppose to be good for my body but it seems like it's just putting my body at risk. When I go to the gym, I can't push myslef to work out really hard because I'm too busy keeping track of my blood sugar or too busy worrying about it! I want to be able to get on the treadmill for an hour, and not have to worry about anything. After 30 minutes, I'm done. And I can't do any weight lifting or anything because I have to go eat. Now, I'm just to the point I don't even want to go to gym at all but I still try to push myself. My next idea is to go to the gym during the time of day when my blood sugar is the highest to see if that helps any. I always wake up in the morning with high blood sugar so I'm hoping if I go to the gym in the AM after I eat breakfast, that will help. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

I haven't posted in over a week!

So, I haven't posted anything in a while because I could not think of anything to talk about! After a week or so of not posting anything I have thought of some things I would like to talk about and some things I want you guys to think about. I'm probably going to do about 2 or 3 different posts since none of these topics are related!