This sh*t is getting old!

It's been about 2 mionths since I started the process of getting an insulin pump. I had hoped I would have it by Thanksgiving but Thanksgiving has come and gone and I still don't have an insulin pump. I feel like the people that were helping me get approved for an insulin pump have given up. The last time I contacted someone about the status of my pump was on November 21 and I still have not heard back from anyone.

 Today, I finally sent out an email trying to figure out what the hell is going on!!!! This whole process should not be this damn difficult! The insurance company has all the doctor's documents that proves I would benefit from having an insulin pump but I still get denied. The only reason I could really think of as to why insurance hasn't approved me yet is because my last insulin pump is still under warranty.

 I even talked to someone about how often I can get a new pump and they told me every 2 years. Well guess what??? It had been 2 years in September since I got a new insulin pump. The insurance company even has documentation of all the times my Omnipod malfunctioned but I STILL CANT GET APPROVED! This is really getting old.

 I am tired of taking time out of my day to give myself insulin injections. I am tired of the multiple bruises on my stomach. I am tired of making sure I take my lantus before I go to bed. It would be nice if I could go to bed at 7pm if I wanted. But I can't. I have to stay awake until at least 9 to take my lantus. Ugh.  I am just tired of having diabetes all together but an insulin pump would make my life so  much easier!

What I really want for Christmas is......

So I have been doing a lot of thinking about what to get people for Christmas and what I should tell family that I want for Christmas. If I could have anything in the world I would really love for Santa to bring my an insulin pump. Ok maybe in a dream world I would ask for a million dollars but realistically I want an insulin pump. I thought I would have it by Thanksgiving but its almost 7:30pm on Thanksgiving and my insulin pump is not here! I do not understand why the insurance company won't approve me for a pump. Having a pump would make my life so much easier in so many ways. If I had several thousand dollars I would just buy the damn thing myself but unfortunately that's not possible. ugh....maybe by Christmas I will have one! Keeping my fingers crossed...

Feeling guilty...

The longer I've been on insulin shots, the more I realize how much easier my life would be with an insulin pump. I went to dinner tonight with a friend and of course I didn't want to interrupt dinner to excuse myself to take my shot so my blood sugar ended up going high because I waited so long to give myself insulin. If I had a pump the only thing I would have to do is push a couple buttons and the insulin would be delivered. But of course the process of getting an insulin pump is being made more difficult then it has to be. I have really been slacking on the care of my diabetes because I don't feel like pulling out my needles every time I eat, or decide to snack on junk food. I really don't want to know what my A1C is going to be when I go back to my endocrinologist..ugh...I'm such a bad diabetic.. :( I'm starting to feel a little guilty about the way I'm taking care of myself. *sigh* .___.

This really shouldn't be this difficult!

I'm really frustrated with my doctor, the diabetes educator and the people at the pump company. Two or three months ago I filled out paper work for an insulin pump. A couple weeks later I got a phone call saying the insurance company had approved it and I wouldn't have to pay anything out of pocket and it would be shipped the following week. Weeks went by and there was no insulin pump. Come to find out the insurance company needed more info from my doctor. They needed a reason why my last insulin pump didn't work for me. We filled out more paperwork. A week or so later I got a phone call from the diabetes educator that works with my doctor and she said I had been approved. She gave me the contact information for a pump rep. All this time I have been emailing a guy that is a pump rep for the whole eastern shore. I told him what the educator said and to get my pump shipped he needed an approval letter or some sort of documentation from the insurance company verifying that they had approved it. The one person that would have those documents is the diabetes educator since she is the One that called me and said I was approved...but do you think she had it? No. After a couple days of not hearing anything I emailed the pump guy that's in charge of the eastern shore. Come to find out the insurance company needs records of my blood sugars before they can approve me for my pump. Why have I been told TWICE that I was approved when I really wasn't?!?! Why do these people insist on getting me excited by telling me I can get an insulin pump when really they have no f****** clue? It is so aggravating. And I bet if I hadn't been staying in contact with everyone I would of never known any of this. This is a big load of BS. I've gotten so excited because I think my insulin pump is on its way but really we have no idea if I can even get one yet. Ugh!!!!

Bad day!

Today has been horrible. My blood sugar has not been below 300 all day! I keep giving myself insulin but nothing is working. I have barely eaten anything all day so I know It's not because I have been snacking a lot. My insulin pump isn't leaking. It seems like lately my blood sugar has been 200 or higher and It's pissing me off!!! I should probably call my endocrinologist but he will put me on more insulin. I am already on a shit load of insulin and that's probably the reason why I have been gaining weight and I don't want to gain anymore weight. Ugh!!!! It's aggravating! I'm thinking maybe my insulin pump has something to do with it. I feel like I was doing better when I had my Medtronic pump. Maybe not by much but better than I am now. I feel bad for switching pumps again. I have only had the omnipod for not even a year and my family and I went through so much to get it that I would hate to switch yet again. I am so confused and frustrated right. I'm also scared because if I can't get my blood sugar under control, I'm going to have a lot more problems in the future :(

Forgetting Your Insulin/Insulin Pump

Who would have ever thought that a diabetic could actually forget to take their insulin or even forget their insulin pump? Well, I am here to tell you that IT IS possible! While trying to live our lives as normal as possible, it is so easy to forget the most important thing to us! Today, I left for work about 30 minutes early so I could go to subway. I ate my sub and was getting ready to give myself insulin for it when I remembered, "Oh sh*t! I left my PDM (the "remote" that controls my insulin intake through my pump") at home, along with all my extra insulin!) I thought I would be alright because I was only supposed to be working for 4 hours. Well, an hour and a half into my shift I was feeling sick to my stomch, I had a headache, and I was extremely thirsty. I was not going to last 4 hours and I was stupid to think that I could. I didn't want to leave work early but I knew that if I didn't, I was probably going to be even more sick than I already was. I can see how someone who is not a diabetic, wonder, "How in the world can you forget your insulin/insulin pump?" It's just like when someone who is not diabetic, forgets to take their pills in the morning or before they go to bed. It is the same thing, except forgetting your insulin sometimes has bigger consequences. It sucks and when I do it, I end up getting down on myself for it because I know what could happen if my blood sugar gets too high.